When do you “have it all”?
I’m an over-emotional wreck sometimes – most times. At any moment of the day I go through a kaleidescope of emotions – frustrated with contacts, bored with cleaning, obsessed with cleaning perfectly, happy about Princess, annoyed with Princess, in love with my J, pissed off with my J – it’s a never ending cycle of crazy. Or at least, that’s how I feel sometimes.
Regardless, I’m sitting here with all of the above emotions going through me right now, and it’s kinda annoying but it’s mainly because I’m wondering when life is going to get perfect for us, I mean, when is it my turn to have it all??
A constant thing I do? Gripe about what I don’t have. I’m sure it’s perfectly normal but there comes a point where you realise I’m not going to get what I want, and for me, the Queen, that’s not up to my high, high standards.
I usually don’t discuss this on my blog because a) I don’t want to sound like a whiner or complainer, b) I’m a semi-private person and some things are nobodies business, and c) because when other people are involved it’s not fair to write even slightly negative about them.
Me and J have been bickering lately. It’s not like we’ve ever gone a day without bickering, I mean, I’m Polish and he’s French-Irish and we’re both loud and crazy people, so it’s pretty obvious that we’re gonna go on about towels or toilet paper or whatever else just to be loud that day. But there comes a point where it just gets SO boring to bicker all the time.
I don’t want to shout all the time, you know?
And some of this bickering does have a bit to do with me. But I’m in a weird phase of my life, a transference phase, where nothing is done or finished and I don’t know when it will be. I’m between things. Between jobs. I even feel like we’re between homes because this place isn’t fully furnished yet so it doesn’t feel like home. Between pant sizes. Bleh. I don’t even want to talk about weight on here anymore. It’s annoying for me to even type it out.
Sometimes I think that no one gets it all. And not in a jealous kinda way. Just in the sense that even if you have a mansion and a Ferrari and a closet full of Christian Louboutins, you’re still going to be mad at the gardener or your man or the lack of a man or lack of children or too many children – you know what I mean? Nothing will ever be perfect.
I leave you with my favourite quote, one that I need to tattoo on my body somewhere I can read it everyday for the rest of my life, it’s a reminder of reality for me.
xoxo
Fab Brunette
18 Responses to “When do you “have it all”?”
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Fab Brunette loves cupcakes and Paris, high heels and pearls. Dreams of travel, cooks in Manolos, and writes with her heart.
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Right until the end of the blog, I was going to basically say what that post-it says
I hardly blog about it but the Boy and I have had a lot more bickering lately. He's been unemployed, we're moving in together in June and both of our families drive us insane sometimes so we take it out on each other.
It happens.
Regardless of the frustration and the wanting to rip each other's throats out, I still pretty much believe that I have it all. Sure, I want to lose weight, I kind of hate my job and I'm sick of not having my B.A. finished but at the end of the day, I'm surrounded by people I love.
From the looks of it, so are you
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I love that quote. It's something I constantly need to remind my(type-A)self.
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Thank you for this post. I've been having quite the over-emotional week and reading that quote is actually helping me to feel slightly better.
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Great quote. I may need to write it on a post-it and stick it on my computer at work and on my bathroom mirror to remind me that my life is never going to be perfect and that I shouldn't harp on the things that I don't have. Instead I should be happy with the great things I do have in my life.
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Nobody will be satisfied with their lives, no matter how much other people will kill to have what they have. No one will have it perfect. I'm struggling with self acceptance for sure, in the end all of us just have to be more positive.
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So you're the first blog I clicked on today, and I'm so glad you did.
I know EXACTLY how you are feeling.
In fact, I am currently pissed off and sitting here alone thinking GOD EFFIN HELL. And it's not even 9am yet.
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Lately I've been thinking a lot about the things we can't control – like how my mom had a “perfect” life until her husband got lung cancer & died, or her best friend had one until her husband got MS & is now almost half-paralyzed. Friends who have contracted crazy illnesses, who have had unexpected injuries, who have fallen prey to things they couldn't foresee or control. Why am I wasting so much time trying to have it all when something like that could take everything away? I'm trying to focus on what I do have & what it means to me, not what I want & what THAT would mean or how it would better my life. Hope you can follow the Post-It. <3
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I'm totally a glass half full person, so I appreciate that quote a lot. I'm living in a different country with people I don't know and don't really like, I'm across the ocean from my family, and across the sea from my boyfriend, and sometimes it's really tough, but I'm having a wonderful time in Madrid, and I couldn't be more pleased with how my totally unplanned move turned out. Sometimes you really have to think about how lucky you are to have what you have!:)
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As lame as it sounds, learning to see what you do have and just really be able to be happy with the small things is amazing.
I guess for me, perfect sounds really boring. Perfect sounds like, coma inducing boring. If I didn't have something to work on, some thing to push uphill for a little while, or something to work on in myself, or my relationship I don't know what I would do with myself.
Being able to really be lifted up by a perfect espresso, a smile from a stranger, or volunteering my time a little sounds corny and doesn't work all the time, but it's a really wonderful place to be.
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And also? It's a lot less work than the alternative in my experience =)
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Amen!! I absolutely love that quote. I don't like to blog about it either because you're right it's no one's business. I think if my husband and I never fought then our relationship would be so boring and uptight. Fighting makes things more fun by learning from each other and our mistakes and make it up by…. you know.
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*HUGS* You were the one who introduced me to that quote, and I keep trying to remember it … as much as things might not be at the 100% perfect version of where you want them to be, I guess that's what life is all about. I want you to be happy about where you are and where you're going in life and I give you full permission to ever rant about me on here if I annoy you, hehe. But really … it sucks you two are bickering, but I know how much you two love each other and you're amazing for going through all that youv'e gone through. Give yourself a pat on the back for all that you DO have and don't fret about what you don't have, just think about how to get the most of it. <3
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You just wrote out what I've been thinking all weekend. I wonder if I can ever be happy. I want to wake up and be grateful and thankful and all that jazz, but it's effing hard.
One day at a time, I'm just trying to be IN the moment and stay positive.
Hang in there my darling!
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I don't think anyone gets it all. If you did, what reason would you have to live? What would you have to work towards?
Like you said, even those who appear to have it all, don't. Find happiness in small things and the world will seem brighter, for sure.
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I love that quote. It definitely sounds like you are in a transition phase. Who doesn't go through that? Until you are appreciative of what you DO have instead of what you DON'T have, you won't be happy. Communication and prayer have helped me through times like these.
Jealous people : count other's blessings instead of their own.
I know you were saying it wasn't out of jealousy, and granted I don't know you….but do you have an appreciation for the little things in life…i.e. just being alive, having your health?
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I love that! I have been saying this to my friends for months. It's all about being content and sometimes things don't go the way I want and I get mad or upset or sad, but things are still okay. I think happiness is a fleeting emotion and contentment is a state of mind.
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I think we all feel that way sometimes…whenever I get in this state of mind, I just try and take a deep breath, a step back and try and focus on the things I DO have, and the things that currently make me happy. As corny as it sounds, sometimes I even make a list of these things in a notebook. It helps me get out of my head and I usually see that although there are lots of things that are frustrating me (bickering with boyfriend, career confusion, lack of furniture-this was a problem of ours too!), the good (family, friends, some of the material luxuries I do have) usually outweighs the bad. I've also learned that the things that do frustrate me aren't going to be solved overnight, and that I have to just keep pressing forward with the faith that they will work themselves out in some way..
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I think we all feel that way sometimes…whenever I get in this state of mind, I just try and take a deep breath, a step back and try and focus on the things I DO have, and the things that currently make me happy. As corny as it sounds, sometimes I even make a list of these things in a notebook. It helps me get out of my head and I usually see that although there are lots of things that are frustrating me (bickering with boyfriend, career confusion, lack of furniture-this was a problem of ours too!), the good (family, friends, some of the material luxuries I do have) usually outweighs the bad. I’ve also learned that the things that do frustrate me aren’t going to be solved overnight, and that I have to just keep pressing forward with the faith that they will work themselves out in some way..
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